Comments on: What To Give Or Not To Give, Those Are The Questions http://moneylifecafe.com/2009/11/10/what-to-give-or-not-to-give-those-are-the-questions/ A Place Where We Talk About Tips On Saving Cash, Alternative Types of Investments, Life Experiences and the Decisions We Make About Money Fri, 10 Sep 2010 19:15:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Julianne http://moneylifecafe.com/2009/11/10/what-to-give-or-not-to-give-those-are-the-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-120 Julianne Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:29:15 +0000 http://moneylifecafe.com/?p=700#comment-120 Okay that's good to know I wasn't the "bag of candy" gift-giver. ;-) I agree that giving your broke friend the lesser gift isn't the way to go -- especially if you're giving everyone the gifts at the same time or if people know what everyone else got. My point is that she may have been buying you something smaller so you didn't feel obligated to spend more on her gift too. It may not have been an intentional slight, so it's always a good idea to check (if not always easy to bring up something like that). Of course, if her gifts seem unthoughtful that may well be true, also.... BTW great to see you at the Bonsor craft fair. I ended up picking up that stamp box for my s-in-law as well as the jewelry I bought from you -- so that's two great gifts found at the craft fair today. :) Julianne Okay that’s good to know I wasn’t the “bag of candy” gift-giver. ;-)

I agree that giving your broke friend the lesser gift isn’t the way to go — especially if you’re giving everyone the gifts at the same time or if people know what everyone else got. My point is that she may have been buying you something smaller so you didn’t feel obligated to spend more on her gift too. It may not have been an intentional slight, so it’s always a good idea to check (if not always easy to bring up something like that). Of course, if her gifts seem unthoughtful that may well be true, also…. BTW great to see you at the Bonsor craft fair. I ended up picking up that stamp box for my s-in-law as well as the jewelry I bought from you — so that’s two great gifts found at the craft fair today. :)
Julianne

]]> By: admin http://moneylifecafe.com/2009/11/10/what-to-give-or-not-to-give-those-are-the-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-117 admin Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:00:40 +0000 http://moneylifecafe.com/?p=700#comment-117 LOL, nope, J, that was not you I was talking about. I remember the milk duds and the "real" gift that came with it. I loved both, BTW. ;-) :-) No, my beef with Annie is that she seems to have become a real unthoughtful gift-giver after I had to slash my gift budget that one year. And more than unthoughtful, it seems like she was treating me as a less of an important friend than her other friends (especially that one year when everyone got a necklace and the got the lesser gift - the bracelet) at least when it comes to gifts. I think that if you're going to give similar gifts to all your girlfriends you should not single the broke friend out by giving her a lesser gift than the others even if she cannot afford to get you a gift as good as the gifts you are giving out. LOL, nope, J, that was not you I was talking about. I remember the milk duds and the “real” gift that came with it. I loved both, BTW. ;-) :-)

No, my beef with Annie is that she seems to have become a real unthoughtful gift-giver after I had to slash my gift budget that one year. And more than unthoughtful, it seems like she was treating me as a less of an important friend than her other friends (especially that one year when everyone got a necklace and the got the lesser gift - the bracelet) at least when it comes to gifts.

I think that if you’re going to give similar gifts to all your girlfriends you should not single the broke friend out by giving her a lesser gift than the others even if she cannot afford to get you a gift as good as the gifts you are giving out.

]]> By: Julianne http://moneylifecafe.com/2009/11/10/what-to-give-or-not-to-give-those-are-the-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-116 Julianne Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:58:51 +0000 http://moneylifecafe.com/?p=700#comment-116 Hi Margarita. This is a tough one, because I think everyone has a different opinion of gift giving. For instance I was trained by my British mother to give someone a very small gift (not necessarily a thoughtless one, but inexpensive), if I had never exchanged gifts with that person before, or if that person gave me a small gift. The reason: Not to punish the person, but so they would not feel "obligated" to get me a big gift in the future if they could not afford it!!! I actually enjoy choosing a gift I know someone will love, but one time I was exchanging gifts with a friend for the first time, I got her a little cute planner and she bought me a set of crystal wineglasses and pitcher!!! I think she was offended, as she asked "You didn't just run out and get it today, did you?" We never exchanged gifts again (we drifted apart a bit anyway.) It's obviously easier if one can talk about it openly with friends/family so these misunderstandings don't occur. For instance, I have arranged with everyone not to exchange Xmas gifts with everyone anymore so we don't all go broke at that time of year!!! We hold a "gift draw" in my family so we just buy for one person (we still get individual gifts for the kids in the family). Otherwise, for birthdays etc, I usually set about a $25-30 spending limit for gifts for close friends and family so that I can get something nice without over-spending. BTW, I remember one year I got you a box of Milk Duds (knowing your addiction) but I'm pretty sure that was a secondary "gag" present!!!! So I hope it's not me in that story! Cheers, Julianne Hi Margarita. This is a tough one, because I think everyone has a different opinion of gift giving. For instance I was trained by my British mother to give someone a very small gift (not necessarily a thoughtless one, but inexpensive), if I had never exchanged gifts with that person before, or if that person gave me a small gift. The reason: Not to punish the person, but so they would not feel “obligated” to get me a big gift in the future if they could not afford it!!! I actually enjoy choosing a gift I know someone will love, but one time I was exchanging gifts with a friend for the first time, I got her a little cute planner and she bought me a set of crystal wineglasses and pitcher!!! I think she was offended, as she asked “You didn’t just run out and get it today, did you?” We never exchanged gifts again (we drifted apart a bit anyway.) It’s obviously easier if one can talk about it openly with friends/family so these misunderstandings don’t occur. For instance, I have arranged with everyone not to exchange Xmas gifts with everyone anymore so we don’t all go broke at that time of year!!! We hold a “gift draw” in my family so we just buy for one person (we still get individual gifts for the kids in the family). Otherwise, for birthdays etc, I usually set about a $25-30 spending limit for gifts for close friends and family so that I can get something nice without over-spending. BTW, I remember one year I got you a box of Milk Duds (knowing your addiction) but I’m pretty sure that was a secondary “gag” present!!!! So I hope it’s not me in that story! Cheers, Julianne

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