Category Archives: Money and Relationships

Mar 04 0 comments
Money and Relationships, Resources

Til Debt Do U$ Part

This post is about a TV show a reader recommended I watch (A big thanks to you, Aims!) called “Til Debt Do U$ Part”.

Til Debt Do U$ Part follows host and financial guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade as she helps couples get out of financial disaster.  She studies the couple’s financial statements and gives them the hard truth; almost every couple is surprised to realize how badly in debt they are when she lays their paperwork out on the table for them to clearly see.  She then educates each couple on how to change their debt situation in one month by giving them steps and exercises to follow.  Although Gail gives couples simple and practical exercises, the exercises are not often easy.  As an example, a few couples have been asked to downsize by selling homes and cars they could not afford.

What’s most interesting to me about this show is that Gail is a firm believer that improving the couple’s relationship will help the couple manage their finances.  Therefore, the last exercise couples tackle in the show is a relationship challenge.  Depending on the couple’s communication style, exercises range from physical challenges like rock climbing and geo-caching, that force couples to work together as a team to other challenges seem simpler like sending couples to massage classes or an intimate dinner where the couples get to know each other again and reconnect.

Til Debt Do U$ Part is a great show and I am glad it was brought to my attention.  I’ll be watching it often and taking down tips from Gail.  Who knows, I might just send in an application myself and be lucky enough to get chosen for Gail to come into my home and address my family’s money issues.

Til Debt Do U$ Part can be viewed on the Slice Network in Canada and CNBC in the US.  Check your local listings for show times.  For more info, visit Gail’s Blog at www.gailvazoxlade.com.

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Nov 10 3 comments
Affordable Gifts, Money Stories, Money and Relationships

What To Give Or Not To Give, Those Are The Questions

Some of you may have their gift and shopping list prepped already, and you may have a minimum and maximum amount of cash you want to spend per gift and an idea of what to get the people on your list; I know I do.  But I do have a friend that I  always have a hard time shopping for.

I have known my friend (let’s call her Annie) for many years.  Annie has become one of my best friends and we have always exchanged Christmas gifts.  Everything was fine in the gift-giving department until the year I started my own business and had to slash my gift budget dramatically.  I still gave Annie a very thoughtful gift that year (as I still do to this day) but I noticed that when she tore the wrapping from it, she was not happy.

Up until that time, Annie had always given all her friends the same or similar gifts each year.   But after that one gift incident, I have noticed that the quality of her gifts to me has gone down.  The first year I noticed that she gave all her friends a necklace except for me, I got a bracelet.  The year after that, I again got an inferior gift compared to our other friends.  And each year thereafter, it’s been worse and worse.  One time I got a bag of candy from a grocery store.

I believe she does this because I cannot afford to budget as much on her gifts (and everyone else’s) as I used to and she feels that she shouldn’t have to shell out as much cash for my gifts either.  I never thought to compare budgets with friends before this but maybe in her case I should?  I have always based gift-giving to friends on my budget, not theirs, and what each individual would appreciate.  I feel insulted and hurt by Annie’s actions, maybe I should stop giving her gifts altogether?  Because why bother to give a gift to a friend if it is not sincere and heartfelt?

So dear readers, what are your gift-giving rules?  Do you only give a gift if you expect one back?  Do you budget according to what the other person’s budget is?  Do you have a similar budget for all your friends?  I’d really like to know!

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Nov 01 0 comments
Cheap Eats, Money Stories, Money and Relationships, Saving Tips

A Bottle of Spaghetti Sauce

Last night my partner made dinner; spaghetti and meatballs. He used a bottle of Ragu Pasta sauce and added chopped green peppers, mushrooms and meatballs. But he also added water. It would have been an awesome meal except for the added water in the sauce. Instead of a lovely sauce that stuck to your noodles, the sauce instead was an almost tasteless soup that collected at the bottom of our plates.

When I asked my partner about it, he said he added the water because some of the thick sauce stuck to the bottom of the bottle and it was hard to get it out. The water made it soupy enough to get out. I was upset. The meal wasn’t appetizing so I felt we wasted money while trying to save a few pennies by getting the most sauce he could from the bottle.

Moral of the story? I guess my partner and I learned it’s not worth trying to save a few pennies at the risk of ruining a good deal (or meal in this case). This initial story might sound just a little bit silly but it reminds me of another. My relatives had an after-school tutor for their child to help her with Math. This tutor was wonderful, the kid liked him and her grades were improving, he got along with the parents and he came at a reasonable price. However, he was always 10 minutes late. Even when the family suggested that they bump the session times a bit later in the day, he still came 10 minutes late. After a few months, the parents fired him. They were not able to find another tutor that was as effective after that. They lost their good deal.

So, another moral might be, don’t be TOO anal about savings or getting your money’s worth. It might just bite you in the a$$.

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Oct 25 0 comments
Making Money, Money and Relationships

Volunteer

I’ve always admired people who volunteered their time to charities, causes, community events, etc.  I’ve always thought these people were so very generous and selfless to spend their precious time this way and they are.  But recently I realized that there can be other benefits to volunteering.  Two of my friends have gotten their dream jobs because they either volunteered for the organization they wanted to work for first or met someone from the company through volunteer work.  Another friend, a freelancer got many of her contracts from contact made via her volunteer work at the city’s Aquarium.

I’m not saying that your career will flourish because you decide to volunteer and I am not suggesting people volunteer because they expect to get a job offer from it.  I think one should volunteer for a cause one believes in.  But still, if you expose your talents to the world, someone will notice and at the very least, you’ll get sincere thanks and warm appreciation for your time.

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Oct 15 0 comments
Affordable Gifts, Money and Relationships

Gifts: Asking For What You Want

When my birthday or Christmas is nearing, I make a list of all the stuff I want to get as gifts.  Am I being presumptuous?  No, practical.  Every year I tell my boyfriend what I want because every year at least one or two of my friends will call him and ask him what they should get me.  This way, I am saving them the stress of not knowing what gift to give.

I hate getting gifts I can’t use or won’t use because it’s so not my thing.  I hate it because I’ll have to store it (it’ll immediately go into storage until the Salvation Army and I don’t have much storage space) and because someone just wasted their hard-earned money on an item that won’t be used or loved by the person they intended.  Seriously, I feel almost physical pain when someone wastes cash this way or in any way.

By the way, I do the same thing, I ask people what they want coz sometimes I just don’t get it right. Plus it gives me pleasure knowing I helped a loved-one make their desires come true.

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Oct 13 0 comments
Kids and Money, Money Stories, Money and Relationships

Halloween: It’s All About The Kids (and Candy)

A few years ago I was a bit down on my luck and very broke.  Looking for extra work to make ends meet was taking up all my time and attention. Until my son, who was around 5 years old then, piped up about going Trick or Treating on Halloween, I completely forgot about candy, costumes and the like.

I couldn’t even afford to go to the dollar store to pick up some items for our garb so I had to make my son wear a white trash bag (instant ghost).  He said I had to wear a costume, too so I wore a dark green trash bag with a red tie at the end - I pretended to be the grim reaper.  I know that some people have been making some great looking costumes from trash bags recently, but back then, this wasn’t in vogue and having only a couple of hours prep and no other materials to work with, our costumes were very lame.  While my son was able to pull his off because he was 5 and very cute, I didn’t fare so well.  A little girl wearing a very elaborate dinosaur costume who happened to be trick or treating on the same street kept looking at me and said, “What are you?”

I really wished I had more  cash at the time to buy or even make some better costumes but my son didn’t seem to mind the trash bag clothing.  When I asked him if had fun, he said, “Yeah!  I got lots of candy!”

Do you have young kids?  How much do you spend on Halloween for them?  Would they really mind if you spent a little less?  If so, here is a link for money-saving costumes:

http://www.robinsfyi.com/holidays/halloween/costumes.htm

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Oct 11 0 comments
Kids and Money, Money Stories, Money and Relationships

Role Model Lessons For Your Kids

My partner teaches private music lessons.  He’s a great musician and teacher and he is able to connect with the kids.  Through the years many of his students have become good musicians themselves but he has a couple of kids that he’s been teaching in the last two years that have not improved much.  Being conscientious and feeling guilty that he was not doing a good job with the two kids and still taking their money, he approached the parents and said  that he might not be the best teacher for them.  The parents refused to stop the music lessons and told him not to worry about it.

He was very perplexed about their decision to keep him around.  When he told me about this situation, I realized that the parents were not paying him for the music lessons anymore but instead wanted him to continue because he was a good role model for their kids.

I had a piano teacher when I was 8-10 years old.  Every Sunday I would come to her house for an hour and make noise (yes, noise).  In the 3 years I was her student all I learned to play was Chopsticks.  This was not her fault as I have no finger dexterity, to this day I type with only two fingers.  But even knowing that I’d never be able to play another tune on the keys, my mom continued to pay my teacher for her time.  Why?  I was a difficult kid and not very likable.  Not many adults were nice to me and so when my mom found one who treated me with respect and kindness, she decided to keep paying for the lessons despite my lack of improvement.  In my mom’s mind my teacher’s real job was to be a big sister to me.

Being a parent now myself, I realize how hard it is to find a positive role model for your kids to look up to. So, when you find one you try to keep them around.  Even if it costs $60 an hour.

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Oct 01 2 comments
Money and Relationships

Who Pays for Dinner?

So, you’re on a date with someone for the very first time.  You got to a nice restaurant then the bill comes.  Who pays for dinner?

Just curious what everyone’s thoughts are about this…

Does the man pay?

If it’s two women or men on a date, who pays?

Or should the one who asked the other out pay?  What if it’s a blind date (Should the one who who set up the date pay?  Kidding…)?

Does the person who earns more pay?

What are the rules?

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Sep 29 0 comments
Money Stories, Money and Relationships

Paying More To Deal With Courteous People

How important is dealing with nice, courteous sales people to you?  I didn’t think it was all that important to me since I usually know exactly what I want and what I am buying before I go into a shop so my contact with the sales rep is minimal.  But then I noticed avoiding a few retail stores in the past couple of years because I thought their employees were either stupid or rude or both.

As an example, I recently brought my pants in to a Alterations Shop to get them hemmed.  I often do this because I: 1. have short legs and 2. can’t sew to save my life.  Anyway, I live in Burnaby, BC and so I go to Metrotown Mall to do this.  There’s a alterations place near Zellers on the second floor.  They have always provided me with good service in that my pants have always come out well.  There’s another alterations place in the mall near the Old Navy that I don’t often go to simply due to where it is located.  But one time I found myself shopping on that side of the mall and so I decided to go there instead of my regular shop.

At the new place woman behind the counter was cold and rude (she could have auditioned for the part of Snow Witch from Narnia) and I regret giving them my business.  The pants came out well, just as good as my regular shop and also cost me $2 less but that’s not enough to get me to back there.  I’ll pay more for the service from my regular place because it comes with nice smiles and hellos and thank you’s.

When I thought about this topic a bit more, something occurred to me.  I run a small service-based business and I pride myself for always being professional and courteous to my customers, so maybe I should raise my prices.  ;-)  But really, isn’t it only fair that I expect the same courtesy from my clients and the people I deal with daily?

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Sep 13 0 comments
Making Money, Money and Relationships, Saving Tips

Finding A Mentor

Ever since I became an adult, I’ve always wanted a mentor.

There are mentorship programs available out there.  In Vancouver, the Women’s Enterprise Centre and the Minerva Foundation matches women starting businesses with women who have years of experience in similar fields.  I think these organizations provide a great service - someone to tell you what to expect in your new business, teach you better systems and techniques and help you avoid the pitfalls, etc.  I am sure there are similar programs for men and that any big city would have some available as well.

But although I would welcome and appreciate a mentor to help me with my career (I have applied and am waiting for a match), ideally, the kind of mentor I am looking for, is not just for business.  I am looking for an older sister/aunt figure, someone I can look up to and possibly emulate in life.  If I were 8 years old, I’d go to Big Sisters Foundation, but I am well over that age.

But why?  Growing up as the eldest child in my family, I felt I did not get enough guidance while growing up.  I had no big sister or positive older role model that I could look up to and go to for advice if I needed it.  And boy, did I need it!  Especially during my dark years as a teen.  Now that I an adult (and more level-headed) I realize I still need this guidance and am hoping to find someone with a lot of life experience I can talk to and trust with anything.

Just like business, life gives you many challenges at any age.  And just like a business might hire a consultant for help with more efficient ways to run the business, alternative income streams, better methods of making revenue, why not do the same for your personal life?  Your mentor could save you some time, maybe some money and possible heartache by listening to his/her life experiences.

And just another point, North American culture does not value older people, older women especially.  We might all do better if we took the time to learn what they can offer and then innovate and adjust to suit our current lifestyles.

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